I have realized that I begin an inordinate amount of texts, tweets, emails, and blog posts with: "Ok, so..." Its annoying to me. I'm self conscious and aware of it. Oh, I also segue ever so smoothly by saying "Anyway(s)..." and just trail off. I think thats going to be a quarter through the year resolution to cut that out.
What has gone on lately?
I'm in the hospital. Day number, oh, I'm not sure. Feels like kajillion. I got here Wednesday and its Saturday. So, that many. In this wonderful stay at Chez (University of) Penn, I have received like 30 freaking diagnoses. None of which stick through an entire nurses shift. Except for my Opthalmological ones. Thats apparently not a word. Whatever.
At first, on Wednesday, they were SURE I'd had a stroke. That was before they heard my family history. I'm freaking out, alone, crying because I can't imagine how scared my daughter was when she had HER stroke. Or what it felt like. And if she felt 1/100th of what I was feeling... Oh, G-d, that just made me feel even worse.
Thursday, it was just a migraine. But they wanted to keep me anyway because it was atypical and I was seeing floaters and shooting stars. Yeah, they kept the dilaudid coming, but it wasn't really cutting the pain. Dialysis was also bad, my migraine got crazy worse, and nobody could get a hold of anyone for medication to fix it. They shoved me under ice packs and let me scream and cry. One doctor came over to me (wait, maybe she was a nurse practitioner. idk. i was mean about her later. I felt bad when she was nice to me later. Twice.) and asked me "sooooo where are your kids?" Ok, like I feel bad enough I'm in the hospital and dying of death. Way to compound it.
Friday, Dialysis was hoooorrrrreeeeendous. and me drawing that out does not even give it credence. I was asleep (I never sleep in dialysis. Its basically a cardinal rule of mine. They woke me up for a dose of dilaudid because I asked for one at 850. Then upon completion of treatment, my migraine was so bad, and they wouldn't give me another dose, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN. I am still sahlty about that. I didn't make it back to the floor for hours because I had an ophthalmologist appointment.
My mom was here for all of THIS. BEST way to make things less anxious. (/sarcasm) Also, I had a transport boy sitting with me too. I didn't get back to my unit until 3. Uncool dude.
Then my best friend came. Oh, and my roommate brought me clothes. He went through my dresser when I texted him, asking him for clothes. Skip over the target bag thats filled with all my stuff that I need, and go through my underware drawer and bring me a bra, panties, JEANS (because thats what I want to wear inpatient) and a pajama top. Yeah, he only went through my underware drawer because the rest of the outfit was from a basket. But Nikki bought me sweat pants, and I'm extremely grateful. I love her.
Then my roommate coded, and I was freaking out. Got sent to the "family room" while she disappeared. I was not told if she died or not. I had a horrible anxiety attack because of all the commotion. I felt bad.
Then today, I just feel down. Ebay is really trying to make me not so down. I've been trolling that. I'm buying my fav perfume of the moment, YSL Parisienne, The makeup case that was stolen when my purse was stolen at Target last year before a friend's bday party. and, I think I'm going to last minute bid on this lipgloss. I love MakeUpForever.
I lead a boring life, and need moar meds because I really don't feel well. I'm here for another night, so I may as well make the best of it? I'm going to get my kids when I get out of here and we're going to make funfetti stuffs. Because the world is better with Funfetti in it.
What should I watch on Netflix?
